Movies to watch: Red Riding Hood

 

Red Riding Hood

Catherine "Mother of Twilight" Hardwicke gives you a spin of the classic tale that you would have never imagined. Yes, to me the movie does scream TWILIGHT but it does have the credibility to stand on it's own. One good reason: better leading actors (Amanda Seyfried and a ten times better Edward Cullen; Shiloh Fernandez). Nonetheless, it's a well known story that's been around for centuries which definitely makes it appealing across the masses.

What I liked about the film:

Visually striking. Unlike Twilight, Hardwicke decided to go with beautiful wintry scene. Was anyone else scared that someone was going to their eye poked out by those pointy trees? Very dangerous.




The red hood.That was so beautiful when it was blowing in the wind. I have to say Ms. Seyfried really knows how to rock the hood. It was an entity of itself.

Shiloh Fernandez. I am so intrigued by him. What I am about to say may sound like a back handed compliment but it's awesome coming from me since I love both actors. But he's like a Zac Efron and James Dean rolled into one. Yes, he's a mysterious good looking man. I think he would have made a better Edward Cullen. Yes, I don't think you could do anything else to improve Twilight but Shiloh is not socially awkward. He can hold himself together when asked simple questions. Team Shiloh.


Billy Burke. Charlie Swan, you know Bella's dad. I'm sure this mad has had a wonderful career and would rather not be called Bella's dad, but he is. I must say that he looks better with the mustache. It makes him look hot. No difference between Bella's dad and Red's (Valerie's Dad). They both drink. However Val's dad is missing the "R" beer can. (Does that stand for Red? Trivia question: what does that R stand for on the beer can? I don't know but I know someone does. If you do, I will give you a high-five!)


Grandma, what big _______ you have? Thank you. I would have been highly disappointed if that line was not in the film. I would have asked for a refund and then e-mail Summit. It worked really well in the movie.


A cross-dressing wolf.  Another reason I would have been disappointed if that was missing as well. That's the whole point of the story!


Twist.  The movie does have a little twist. Which I will not say but it did make it interesting. You think you know from the trailers but you have no idea. It's great not having a clue.

What I didn't understand about the movie:

What century are we in. The movie is definitely a period piece. What period does it take place in, I haven't the slightest clue. At first they are talking about kingdoms and then they are bumping and grinding at a party. It felt a little like the Jersey Shore for a second:

First thing you see, Red is really into the woodcutter and they want to smush. Then her family is like "No, you gots to get with the wealthy kid" and then all of a sudden "cabs are here" and they're at Karma. And Red sees the woodcutter creeping on some grenade. Then red was like "OK you do you, I'll do me." And then the woodcutter goes and chops up her house because it's made of wood. And then Red has to leave and goes to her Grandma's house and then she comes back and it's an awkward reunion show. Red Riding Hood Jersey Shore Style. 

That's like the only thing I didn't like about the movie. In fairness, it was a good film. I brought a long a friend with me who definitely didn't want to see it and she ended up loving it. It's not Twilight. It has more violence and it's a lot sexier. So no need to be embarrassed, it's been out for sometime so your boyfriend doesn't have to worry about anyone seeing them in there. Or you can wait for the DVD. Anyways, it's a must see. 

Joe Jonas: You're breaking my heart!

Stop it Joe Jonas, you're breaking my heart and I kinda like it but I'm still on the verge of tears. Recently, Joe Jonas has announced that he is going solo (exciting!). Along with the news of going solo comes the press; I give you Joe's first solo cover and solo story from Details magazine.

Let me just say: It's not him, it's me. Great article! Love where he's heading but I'm going through some type of denial stage. My man is grown and that's something that I have to deal with. I'm not sure if I want to change for him though. Yes, it's great he's an adult, I'm adult. I talk like an adult but I can't handle him talking like an adult and him doing an adult things. I do that! But now that I type this "aloud", it sounds that I want him to say young forever and I like little boys or something. I don't. But be honest, you have a Peter Pan fantasy thing too (Wendy Darling sure did).

I mean I just thought he would stay a little fun immature boy forever. Free of profanity, drinking, and that awful Alice Cullen. I liked those qualities about him. Good wholesome fun. I know it may not be realistic but I thought it was very honorable of him. These other things I at least expected from Zac Efron, who totally sounds like he could play Channing Tatum's cousin in Step Up 4. Just sayin' but I like it.



You can read the article here

Interesting points:

- The article does a comparison of Joe and Justin Timberlake. Travel back in time with me you loyal *N SYNC fans even JoBro fans who only heard of *N SYNC, but didn't you always think that JC Chasez would have blown up more than Justin did? I did. JC definitely had more musicality that Justin did, I think. I was surprised that his solo project didn't jump off. I hope that Nick doesn't follow in that footsteps.

- Joe is an awesome cook. He's so quick on his feet. He was making something and forgot a key ingredient for it and improvised. I totally would have gone back to the store. I do that all the time by the way. I make 50 trips to the grocery store... everyday.

- He bar hops and goes clubbing like a regular 20 something. I find that the most off putting because I don't do that anymore. I think I'm a fifty year old in a 20 something year old body. That doesn't even hold truth anymore because I'm sure there's a lot of cougars getting their Friday nights on.... probably hanging out with Joe :(.

-He really likes that Alice Cullen (barf). I'm sure she's a nice girl but I just don't like that whole cast. Their socially awkward.

- And he's totally a lady killer. He totally gets it in. Whatever that in is because there is this whole blurry line now with the purity rings. Which I think was quite honorable and no one's business. But he talks about all his relationships and stuff and I'm still on Team Joe. Taylor Swift is bitter and she goes through dudes a lot. She is Joe's equivalent: a maneater. There's nothing wrong with that just move on with your life. Own up to it.

Anyways my biggest fear in this is that Joe would turn into a Jersey Shore guy. I mean first he's at a Calvin Klien fashion show with these dudes and next they are you know at Karma creeping or something. Who knows. It's like creeping Hollywood style.

We'll Joe, I still love you no matter what. We're just going through growing pains (we'll I am). There's always Nick ( still too young but legal, but young, still).

The Most INTENSE Eyebrows go to....

Well the people have spoken. The actor with the most intense eyebrows goes to Ian Somerhalder whose alter ego Damon Salvatore would ultimately beat you down in a Jersey Shore fist pumping battle. I could totally see it,

 

Congrats! Ian, you have really sexy and intense eyebrows. Now don't burn them off or get them shaved or something weird :)

The Agenda

You know what tonight is, American Idol: the Dallas audition with Joe Jonas as special guest judge.

 

You know I'm happy. Next on the agenda... my take on the Jersey Shore. I know the ship has sailed, I should have just let it passed :-/